Saying No and How to Do It Right

6 minutes

It’s easy to feel guilty, want to avoid conflict, or simply make other people feel good. However, you can’t consume your whole life on how other people react, nor should you stress about other people’s happiness. Your happiness is more important. In fact, saying no more often is crucial to accomplishing your goals and aspirations.


“No” Is Not Always Negative


Behind every no, there is also a yes. To explain further, when you say no, you are also saying yes to another opportunity that can better serve your life. Just because you are saying no doesn’t mean it is the end of the world. Saying no means that you are committed to your values and goals in life. If you always say yes without considering everyone, the sad truth is, you will always be living someone else’s life.


Stick to And Establish Your Boundaries


The only person you are responsible for is yourself, and you can’t expect others to know what you need if you don’t speak up. Practice assertive communication, always speak up about your boundaries, and not be afraid to let others know. If they can’t respect your boundaries, you don’t need them in your life. They will only hold you back.


Find the Right Words


You don’t have just to say “no.” There are other ways to let others know you can’t do it. Suggest an alternative or provide an apparent reason why you can’t do it. Let them know it doesn’t work with your schedule or objectives: the more communication you can provide, the better.


Take the Person Out of It


In other words, you are not saying no to the person asking; you are simply saying no to the activities you want to do. Often people don’t want to say no because they are afraid to offend the person; however, not being fully honest with yourself isn’t fair to them either. Instead, realize that it isn’t about the person but rather what they asked for. More likely than not, they will understand why you are respectively declining their request.


Strive to Be More Authentic


If you are always saying yes to people or activities that you don’t enjoy, you will never live the life you want. Even if you're going to avoid conflict, you can easily create more by being dishonest with yourself and the people around you. A vague yes versus a firm no can be seen as more harmful as your lack of commitment and poor attitude are noticeable.


In the end, saying no allows you to control your life and accomplish more goals. It is not about making others feel unwanted or being rude. It’s about ensuring you are using your time more wisely and following the path you want. Once you find the balance that works for you, you’ll never regret taking control of your life.

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