Navigating Boundary Conflicts in the Office

Hello, and welcome to The Travelling Introvert. Today, I want to talk about handling boundary violations, especially if you are an introvert in a work situation. This has come up because I've done a couple of workshops recently, and it's a question that seems to come up very often. Sort of, we talk about boundaries, why it's good to set them, why it's good for introverts, why it's good for everybody, but knowing full well that there are people who are going to violate those boundaries that you put up, and what do you do or say how you feel about it when that thing happens? You see, boundaries are very crucial for introverts to maintain their energy and their balance. It is crucial for them to know what they're working on and and sort of get deep focus work and having that boundary crossed by someone interrupting them or putting a meeting in their calendar. It doesn't bode well for them and wakes us I say them us. It's not great for us. It stops our productivity and is a problem.

And so most a lot of people sort of struggle with boundaries in general, people pleasers, but it's worse when they're at work because there is that imbalance of power. So it can be really hard to enforce and reinforce boundaries due to those external pressures. So there are a couple of really common sort of boundary violations that happen in the workplace, such as unwanted interruptions during deep work or focus time, or maybe being assigned a task outside of scope for a project, or maybe hours without proper discussion. It could be the case of feeling pressure to attend social events or meetings without preparation time or information or time to recharge. It's really easy to sort of have boundaries be pushed and violated in ways that you don't really think about and you just go with the flow. And so it can be really hard to address things when those boundary violations happen because you don't want to appear difficult or you don't want to seem like you're not interested in getting a promotion. You don't want to be seen as not being a team player. You don't want to be that squeaky wheel.

Maybe you're trying to avoid conflict. Just keep your head down and keep going and just preferring to maintain harmony, which is great, but in the long term it doesn't really work out well because you end up feeling burnt out and resentful. And it could be a case of also just feeling unsure of how to assert yourself without sort of over exerting energy and feeling you have to explain yourself or say sorry. So there's that mental toll of violated boundaries which lead out to burnout frustration and withdrawal. And then you're even more seen as not a team player and not engaged in work. So here's the thing. Sometimes it's really hard to identify when a boundary is being crossed at the moment. Sometimes you kind of identify it after the fact, which happens.

But try to recognize when a boundary is being crossed real time. Do you suddenly feel discomfort or stress or resentment during certain interactions or tasks? Do you feel drained by activities or obligations that don't keep the line with your priorities? Or do you feel yourself regularly feeling frustrated about people not respecting your time, energy, and or space. Just think if there have been any situations recently where you felt any of those emotions, and consider whether boundaries being crossed has been involved. And so all well and good, I say. Respect boundaries. People should respect your boundaries. But how can you go ahead and communicate and enforce and reinforce boundaries? So use clear, respectful language to state your boundary. For example, I need to focus this project on this project.

Let's discuss at insert time here instead. Say no with confidence. I won't be able to take that task on right now, or here's all the other work I have, which is going to take me 40 hours or 35 hours this week. Which one would you like me to deprioritise so I can prioritise this thing that you are talking about? I can't join every meeting, but I will attend when it is crucial. So thinking about these, sometimes, you know, compromises are necessary, of course, to maintain relationships while respecting your boundaries, but it is really key for you to continue and consistently say, I won't need this, I can't do that, or whatever it might be. So people will it takes time for people to go ahead and respect those boundaries. But if you say no and then fall back and say yes afterwards, how do you expect people to go ahead and respect the boundary that you are trying to enforce? Bearing in mind, setting and protecting boundaries isn't selfish. It's essential for maintaining your energy and productivity as an introvert.

So thank you for listening. This is Janice at The Career Interpreter, helping you build your brand and get hired. Have a great rest of your week.